Mason,
It is amazing how time passes by in the
blink of an eye after you have kids….
It seems like just yesterday, yet this
week, 10 years have passed since our life was turned upside down.
The day our world took a turn we never
saw coming.
Each year leading up to the anniversary,
I get anxious, emotional, sad, scared, and angry.
I WISH 10 years later I felt
differently. But I don’t.
It almost feels just as raw as the day
we were told….
This year. I am consciously recognizing
what it is…
MONDAY FEBRUARY 11th,2008.
We sat in a room where a Doctor
carefully articulated and explained to us about your special heart.
There is one detail about this day I
have seemed to forget in time. That is the name of the doctor who told us about
our fate….
I could describe to you in details
about anything else you might want to know, who was there, what we were
wearing, what the Doctor himself looked like and the conversation we had.
Yet his name, which used to be SOOO en-grained in my brain, 10 years later has slipped my mind.
I guess at this point in our journey,
his name doesn’t matter. It really never did.
He was just the one to break the news
to us and to give us our options.
Options I have spent MANY years trying
to help other parents in a similar scenario realize are NOT options after all.
Choosing your life was easy. Fighting for
you since, has been our honor.
When you have a bad day, let me be the
first to remind you..
In our worst days come some of our
greatest blessings.
You are an inspiration for all who have
the pleasure of knowing you and for those who watch you from afar.
I should be the one teaching you… But it
is you, who taught me about bravery, courage, and being resilience.
Your amazingness has nothing to do with
your imperfect heart, it is just a piece of you which shines light on Jesus’
perfect love.
Your kind heart, your love, and your
snuggles. Your care for others, your sensitivity to how people feel and your
inclusion. Your wit, laugh and playfulness. Your love of mind craft, legos and
nerf guns. All this and more define you not just the anatomy of your heart.
Don’t
let anyone tell you anything different.
The diagnosis is yours but remember that medical crisis never happens in a
vacuum. It affects the entire family. This even includes your sister who didn’t
complete our family until years later…
The uncertainty of this path is
overwhelming on the best day.
There is nothing more I want in this world than
to wipe this burden from you. Unfortunately that is not how it works...
So we trust, pray, believe and cherish
everyday we are given together.
This includes normal
family stuff!
Yes, you have to do
your homework.
Yes, you need to eat
a balance meal.
NO, you can not have
soda.
Yes, you must do
chores.
10 years ago I never
dreamed of making it today. I am grateful for you and our “everyday”.
On the anniversary of
your diagnosis.
Know that your life
was the only option. No matter what the outcome would have been, no matter what
lies ahead. We have NEVER regretted choosing you.
You are worth all of
it.
We choose you and
your life 10 years ago and have fought for you every moment since.
We wont ever stop.
You are a gift.
I love you.
XOXO - Mom
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