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10 Years....


It is amazing how time passes by in the blink of an eye after you have kids….
It seems like just yesterday, yet this week, 10 years have passed since our life was turned upside down.

The day our world took a turn we never saw coming.
Each year leading up to the anniversary, I get anxious, emotional, sad, scared, and angry.
I WISH 10 years later I felt differently. But I don’t.
It almost feels just as raw as the day we were told….

This year. I am consciously recognizing what it is…

We sat in a room where a Doctor carefully articulated and explained to us about your special heart.

There is one detail about this day I have seemed to forget in time. That is the name of the doctor who told us about our fate….
I could describe to you in details about anything else you might want to know, who was there, what we were wearing, what the Doctor himself looked like and the conversation we had.
Yet his name, which used to be SOOO en-grained in my brain, 10 years later has slipped my mind.

I guess at this point in our journey, his name doesn’t matter. It really never did.
He was just the one to break the news to us and to give us our options.
Options I have spent MANY years trying to help other parents in a similar scenario realize are NOT options after all.

Choosing your life was easy. Fighting for you since, has been our honor.

When you have a bad day, let me be the first to remind you.. 
In our worst days come some of our greatest blessings.

You are an inspiration for all who have the pleasure of knowing you and for those who watch you from afar.
I should be the one teaching you… But it is you, who taught me about bravery, courage, and being resilience.

Your amazingness has nothing to do with your imperfect heart, it is just a piece of you which shines light on Jesus’ perfect love.
Your kind heart, your love, and your snuggles. Your care for others, your sensitivity to how people feel and your inclusion. Your wit, laugh and playfulness. Your love of mind craft, legos and nerf guns. All this and more define you not just the anatomy of your heart. 
Don’t let anyone tell you anything different.

The diagnosis is yours but remember that medical crisis never happens in a vacuum. It affects the entire family. This even includes your sister who didn’t complete our family until years later…

The uncertainty of this path is overwhelming on the best day. 
There is nothing more I want in this world than to wipe this burden from you. Unfortunately that is not how it works...
So we trust, pray, believe and cherish everyday we are given together.
This includes normal family stuff!
Yes, you have to do your homework.
Yes, you need to eat a balance meal.
NO, you can not have soda.
Yes, you must do chores.

10 years ago I never dreamed of making it today. I am grateful for you and our “everyday”.

On the anniversary of your diagnosis.
Know that your life was the only option. No matter what the outcome would have been, no matter what lies ahead. We have NEVER regretted choosing you.

You are worth all of it.
We choose you and your life 10 years ago and have fought for you every moment since.
We wont ever stop.

You are a gift.
I love you.
XOXO - Mom


April said…
I sure do love that boy with the perfectly imperfect ❤️.

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