Friday, August 2, 2013

Learning to love the tantrums...

The other day I was snuggling with my FIVE year old before bed time.
I must admit I love this time of day. We have slowed down and if done right my house is calm.

Mason is a snuggler so this is the only time of day where he will sit or lay with me for an extended period of time. Outside of bed time... He is go go go!

During our night time snuggles I get to rub his back, tell him stories, breath in his sweetness and tell him as many times as I want how much I love him (without him getting annoyed).

"I love you ONE THOUSAND FIFTEEN" he says to me. How can that not make a moms heart just melt.
Then there is my precious Kendall. She is 15 months old and shows so much love and affection by her snuggles and kisses. My heart is overwhelmed by both of my babies!

However my "babies" are not babies anymore.
I have a five year old who is smart as a whip, sharp as a knife who doesn't let anything get by him and a 15 month old with a will of iron, best smile and the most incredible laugh EVER!

These kids are the loves of my life.
But is it really supposed to be this hard? You probably think that this is when the post will turn into being a heart mom with some sad story attached but today I am going to talk about "normal" mom things a.k.a. not-heart related.
Being a mom is no doubt the most rewarding and the most difficult thing I have ever done and the moments described above make everything else seem so insignificant. They are the moments when I feel like I must be doing something right... And they are also the moments that come to far and few in between.

These moments as special as they are are scattered between times, hours, minutes, and sometimes days.
My kids fight me, exert their free and STRONG wills, and throw tantrums. ALL. DAY. LONG.

So if I were to be brutally honest I would admit that at times I feel inadequate, ill prepared for this HUGE task of raising these beautiful children. I often struggle with what the right thing is and if I am doing a good job. I mean do they even hear or listen to me, what I am saying... Are they learning the lessons I am trying to teach them?

So then I ask myself... Is it really supposed to be this hard?

One major thing my strong willed daughter has taught me is that I can not make her or my son do anything even though sometimes I act as though I can. I can not. 

I have to think about how to influence and guide my children. Lastly I have to sit back and give God the room to work in their lives. 
After all he is the only one with the power to take away our free will but willingly gives it to us. So who am I to think that I have more authority over my child than God and can force them to do something?

So the road as always leads back to him. Jesus. 
The one who can change hearts, calm souls and heal the broken. 

So instead of forcing my will onto my children I will step back and allow God the space that his spirit needs to work in my children's life and learn to love and enjoy the process (tantrums included). 

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