Sunday, April 3, 2011

be intentional

What can I say… This year has not had the best of starts. And because it didn’t start out ideal, My Husband and I decided we wanted a fresh start on 2011… So HAPPY NEW YEAR (again)…
I have never really reflected on the past year and anticipated the year to come as much as I did when 2010 rolled over to 2011. And when asked why so much anticipation; I honestly have to say I can not answer that. Perhaps it is because this year holds another big surgery and I am anxious to proceed and be done with it or perhaps it is due to this feeling of big change for my family.
I have been spending a lot of time in prayer with God; looking for some answer or clue as to what he has in store us this year. So, This is what I know for sure: There will be unexpected joys and at times there will be unexpected sorrows.
I know that each day that the Lord gives me this year is a gift. I know that I don’t want this year to “just happen”. I know that I don’t want to waste precious / delicate days. I know that I want to be intentional.
I am a member of an “elite club” (not one I choose / one that choose me). This membership came at the cost of my son’s health. I will be forever involved in a community with other parents like Greg and I… In my spare time (what little I have ) I enjoy building relationships with these parents and reading there stories / blogs. My “New Year’s” resolution… Be Intentional was inspired by another parent whose story I was blessed to be able to read.
Thinking about goals and priorities for this year; I first reflect back to how I spend my time… Then I look forward. The biggest headline; I need to BE INTENTIONAL IN ALL AREAS OF MY LIFE:
• I want to Be intentional in my time with the Lord; Everyday
• I want to Be intentional in my prayer life
• I want to Be intentional in filing my mind with Truth
• I want to Be intentional in how I love, respect and support Greg.
• I want to Be intentional in how I love / teach / discipline Mason.
• I want to Be intentional in how I manage my time balancing my home and Career.
• I want to Be intentional in my relationships with Family and Friends.
• I want to Be intentional in showing God’s love to those around me; after all most are an invitation away from being saved.
• I want to Be intentional in continuing to share our story.
Now I get overwhelmed… The truth is the list could continue and go on and on and on and on and on and on and on (you get the point).
The reality - I will fail MISERABLY many times but I will not being doing this alone. It would not be possible to do this on my own.
Being Intentional in my life will take major discipline on my part. But as I seek God, he will give me the strength I need to live intentionally. He has carried me through worse.
Just like working through grief, learning to be intentional is going to be a lifelong journey allowing the Lord to work in me.
In being more intentional I have also made the decision to use this Blog more… This past year I found my voice, I came back.
In the past 2.5 years I have spent as much of my free time talking with other families in similar situations. I was busy helping other people so I could pass of the work I needed to do with myself. Just like Mason needed to heal physically – I had a lot of healing to do emotionally. My healing came through finding my voice and writing. Some days I will be braver than other and post raw, intimate, and emotional entries… Other days I will post about the weather. Either way this blog, this year will detail the events in our lives, the milestones Mason hits, and the emotion that comes with raising a child with a CHD.
If you are reading this entry – I don’t believe it is by accident. I believe that I wrote this today for a reason… Maybe it was in the sole purpose to touch your life?
I challenge each of you to mediate on what being intentional means for you, your life, your relationship with God, your children, your spouse, your friends, and your career.
Today is a new day – and for us it is a new year!

1 comment:

Johanna Jane said...

Beautifully written. Inspiring. You are an amazing woman Kelsey!